Nighttime Personalities Target Trump's Latest 'Gold Card' Immigration Plan

TV's leading comedians used their broadcast ridiculing ex-President Donald Trump's just unveiled visa initiative, dubbed the "golden visa," describing it as a obvious cash-for-residency arrangement for the rich.

Stephen Colbert's Sarcastic Spin

Starting his show, Stephen Colbert delivered a sardonic Christmas tune directed at the president. "He is making a list, reviewing it twice, then handing that list to the people at ICE," he intoned. "Donald Trump ... ruins everything he touches."

Colbert's target was the controversial initiative that enables international individuals to acquire U.S. residency for the price of $1 million dollars, or "premium" option for $5 million. An official website pledges processing "with unprecedented speed."

"One thought for you to wealthy immigrants: prior to you pay, what about Canada?" Colbert remarked.

He explained that the card is also meant to "squeeze cash" from businesses wishing to hire foreign workers, with large payments. "That's a lot of fees, however if you register, you also get free accommodation at a hotel of your choice – provided that it's the that one hotel," he added.

"Unprecedented background check the government has before done," said Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to ensure these people completely meet the standard to be in America."

"That is important, you have to prove you're fit to be an American," Colbert said dryly. "Question one: how many burgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Scathing Commentary

On his own show, Jimmy Kimmel referred to the initiative the "Get Into America Express Card."

"This is a card that will permit rich overseas citizens to live here," he explained. "For a million dollars, you get official resident status, you get a road to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one major crime of your choice."

"Maybe it's time to revise that poem on the Statue of Liberty – to hell with your huddled masses. Hand over a million bucks, you're in!" he added.

Kimmel lampooned the lack of detail of the application, observing it is "more difficult to start a Wordle account." He remarked that Trump "thinks citizenship is something you can sell, like a timeshare."

"Exactly, the best people are the rich people," Kimmel quipped. "That's what Jesus constantly said! It's in the Bible. He says it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle provided that you give the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers covering Grocery Concerns

Elsewhere, Seth Meyers focused on Trump's plunging poll ratings during financial worries. "The public gave Donald Trump a another term because they were angry about the economy," he said.

Recently, in a attempt to tackle prices, Trump held a press conference in front of a array of grocery items, and behaved peculiarly to some cereal.

"What a nice job, I think I'm going to take some of them with me to my place and have a lot of fun," Trump stated. "Like the Cheerios, I haven't seen Cheerios in a ages."

"He's so extremely weird," Meyers said. "Like, you're going to take them home to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What's the plan with those Cheerios?"

Meyers wrapped up by criticizing conservative media defenses of Trump's financial record. "Maybe rather than complaining, you should give him a shiny trophy similar to the one FIFA did," he joked.